Flashing Teeth in Melancholia’s Face

Have you ever had a conversation that leaves you staring at the person on the other end of the exchange, and thinking, I can totally see why someone would want to avoid your company?

I know how mean that sounds, my Luvs, but the person in question deserves that and perhaps a bit more. Then again, it’s likely that I wrote this while still too upset about the nonsense that oozed out of her mouth, so the things that came out of my brain’s mouth weren’t all that pretty.

Anyway, I was talking to someone, mayhap a family member *cough, cough, cough*, who called me to complain about her daughter not wanting to spend time with her. After a little while, she asked me how I was holding up (the anniversary of my little brother’s death is only a day away). I told her that I was all right, a bit melancholic, but that’s not unexpected.

“I’m going to spend the day cleansing my altar, listening to music, rearranging my books, and delighting in some gifts I got from friends,” I said. “I will be sad—I doubt anything will ever change that—but focusing on the people I still have always does wonders for my spirit.”

“I know what your problem is,” she said.

“My problem?” I said, not caring for what I had just heard in her voice. “What problem?”

“You know,” she said, her tone adding to the annoyance brewing in my gut, “not being able to find peace after your brother has been gone for 3 years. Someone who is not in The Lord’s—”

I ended the conversation before she spewed something I couldn’t forgive. And before my outrage told her what her problem was. You know, having a daughter who wants nothing to do with her?

But…

…enough of that.

I know better than to waste too much time being upset at someone who doesn’t quite understand the maliciousness that lies at the heart of her well-meaning intentions. I prefer to enjoy my altar, my music, my books and the latest yummy bits I got from friends and from moi.

I promised myself that as soon as I got rid of certain mess I had in the middle of the bedroom floor, I would reward my efforts with a jar from Touch of the Goddess. Well, the mess has been gone for some time… So I got my “Dream” jar. Isn’t it just precious?
Dream Jar, by Sharon

And because Sharon loves to hear me (read me?) squeal, she sent a Muse to accompany my jar. Look at all this black and red yumminess. I’m completely in love with my fiery Muse.
Fire Goddess, by Sharon

Here she is with a few friends… 😉
Fire Goddess, by Sharon (2)

A certain nurse surprised me with an R2-D2 humidifier and a wee Darth Vader wireless speaker. The pair makes me giggle (Rocket Raccoon and Friday Lavender joined The Force *cough*).
Vader and R2D2

My dearest Ms Misantropia sent me a deliciously red and goldish bracelet and a Dawn of the Dead deck of cards (try saying that thirteen times fast!). Can you tell how well she knows me?
Dawn of the Dead Playing Cards

Since I first saw the bracelet, I’ve been wondering about the symbols on the charms…
Bracelet

Sharon also sent me a copy of “Sometimes a Wild God”, a poem by Tom Hirons, with illustrations by Rima Staines. And guess what? You can listen to the poem on SoundCloud.
Sometimes a Wild God, by Tom Hirons

Thanks so much, Sharon, Katarina, and P. Your gifts add all kinds of sparkles to my grin. To all who have called, emailed, texted… to remind me that you are there for me if I need you, I thank you from the warmest pits of my wild witchy heart. I might have to go into my loud-audiobook-and-even-louder-music-cave, in order to digest my grief in solitude, but knowing that you are keeping me in your thoughts makes me flash happy teeth into melancholia’s face. (( 😀 ))

37 thoughts on “Flashing Teeth in Melancholia’s Face

  1. Some people never learn and really, you can’t do much but put the phone down. Say Hi! to AlmaMia for me. Think of you with big, fierce hugs.

  2. I was in a similar situation.. I remember blogging about it an someone commenting to be forewarned of those who start the sentence ” If I were you”…That person gave unwanted advice when it wasn’t warranted… I too have shied away from folks like that.. How awful to presume that another wants advice!..

  3. Sometimes it amazes me the callousness of others. You’re not the only one who indulges the darker side of our natures a time or two when people show their stupid genes. But it’s always best to focus on the positive, and you have some lovely gifts there! 🙂

    Best wishes to you my dear,

    RC

    • It makes no sense to me either. I understand trying to reconcile the loss, and how different people deal with grief in different ways, but to expect anyone to just be okay with it and move on? Completely ridiculous. And rude, indeed.

  4. The gifts are wonderful. I stared at the picture of the Muse doll for too long.

    I don’t know all of the background regarding your… acquaintance, but it sounds as though she might be a true believer. The problem with us true believers is that we tend to run everything through that filter automatically. Every problem can be solved by our true belief.

    Even mattress salesmen do this: “What? You are sneezing and have headaches? How old is your mattress?”

    When I do this, it’s an issue with me, not the person I am talking to. But it’s hard to make anyone understand that.

    • Thank you. I, too, have stared at the Muse for quite some time. She’s rather stare worthy. 🙂

      I have no issue with belief. I have beliefs my own, and know just how important they are for me and for the way I live my life. What I don’t care for is for the attitude of individuals whose heads are stuck so deep in their own beliefs that they can’t see that their beliefs are not the only ones in the world.

      If she had said something like, “When things are tough, I give myself to my faith. It always help me,” I would have thanked her for her insight, and even agreed. Since like I said before, my own beliefs keep me going. It’s her arrogance and blindness when it comes to what’s important to other people that annoys me.

  5. Wow, those are some seriously cool gifts, and your dream jar is FANTASTIC. I did not know such things exist…in our little town, we never SEE such a thing! I did, however, run amok in the hemp store with my granddaughter and bought myself some yummy incense today and that felt wickedly wonderful. I can only imagine how difficult this anniversary must be. There is no getting over the loss of a little brother (or sister.) I am glad you can write and have all of us to support you.

    • Sharon is a very creative soul. I just got a belt made of hemp, and I love the texture.

      When a sibling die, it feels like we lose a part of us. And when that sibling is more than a decade younger than we are, the loss feels… almost unnatural and so unfair.

      Thank you for the support. ♥

  6. You are in my thoughts! You are in my heart! I was talking about you today, knowing that tomorrow is the anniversary of your brother’s death. Tonight and tomorrow, I will be sending out prayers to you and your brother!
    Enjoy your new beautiful treasures!
    Big Hugs and Much Love!

  7. Ah arrogance – and irony! She’s so full of, er, advice on how to fix someone else’s soul and unaware of how easily she alienates other souls from wanting to linger too long in her presence.

    • I suppose that one I’m a bit less upset about her words, I will have a real talk with her. I seriously think that she doesn’t know that her attitude towards life, and the way she treats other people are responsible for her loneliness.

  8. Wow! We must be related…I know “her”, unfortunately the last time we (her and I) talked I could not keep my thoughts from spewing out of my mouth. I tried but the words flew out of my mouth like with the power of Niagara Falls! Good for you to be able to stop just in time, haha!

    Your alter and all your great gifts are wonderful, loving the red and black theme going on. My healing thoughts are still heading your way and I will share my dog drawing with you if that will help. Anniversaries, good and difficult, are so personal. Big soft hugs and lots of love to you.

    • Sometimes, we must let out all those feelings… if not they rot inside us. Once they are out, we find a way to deal with the consequences.

      Thank you for the good wishes. And yes, anniversary have a way of digging into the soul… ♥

  9. A terribly wise little rabbit once said, ‘If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.’ So I’m not even going to start in on that comment about how you should be over it after only three years, let alone ever. 🙁

    Thinking of you. <3

  10. Ahh, all the love coming to you, how utterly right that so many want you to feel love and, you know, that vile person that associates ‘finding peace’ with the ‘Lord’ (I’m sure he’d roll in his grave if he was still there) should maybe be ‘finding empathy’… finding peace… WTF!!!

    • “I’m sure he’d roll in his grave if he was still there”. That made me laugh so hard, Shelle. Thank you for it. It was glorious. And I agree, he would certainly be a tad crossed… or at least shaking his head, with sadness, because so many keep on misinterpreting his words.

  11. Hello Magaly.. was thinking about you and your brother as I also remember that that terrible thing happened just near these dates….
    Maybe one cannot fully understand the grief of another until experience it in life… but definitely can support and wish to enjoy life no matter what, and keep on moving, creating, loving, caring, dancing, reading, listening to music… not at all easy to , but possible to do.
    sending hugs and loads of Indian sunshine across the Globe!

Leave a Comment