Sexuality Is in the Head

“You cannot divide creative juices from human juices. And as long as juicy women are equated with bad women, we will err on the side of being bad.” ~ Erica Jong

.
None can know
me, what drives me wild
in the mind,
what speaks to the swells
of my hips and breasts…
the way I do.

Hands I allow
on me are a gift,
a pleasure partnership.

Hands and fingers and thought
tracing skin, feeling muscle and bone
ruled by said skin’s own brain
need no partner for joy—
gifts are good, entitlements are better.

Sexiness begins in your head—
touch your mind deeply,
love your body often.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” sexuality
is in my head (and in yours
if you want).
To celebrate it,
take your body and soul
and make yourself yours.

.
the (not so) wee notes…
– Since Beltane—a witchy holiday that brings sexuality to my mind—was in, um… my mind, I asked the members of a private Crohn’s disease forum I belong to about their sex life. Many answered that their sex life was just fine, thank you very much, and can we talk about our ileums and rectums now? Others said that the illness has affected their sex life, but they have adjusted accordingly. The most prevalent answer was a variation of, “I’m single”. So, I added, “What about sex with yourself?” Some people (all right, a whole lot of people) left the session without typing another word.

Those of us who stayed on the forum spent some time discussing sexuality, morality, and the relationship between body and mind when it comes to physical pleasure. It was an enlightening conversation. I was puzzled by the number of mature adults who confessed to have never masturbated—not because of religious taboo, but because they are married or because the idea of touching their own bodies makes them feel dirty. I left the forum hoping for minds freed of nonsense that pushes people to believe that physical self-love is filthy behavior or something to be ashamed of.

Keeping that (and other juicy wonders) in mind, this Beltane, or May Day, or on this 1st Monday of the 5th month of the calendar year, I wish you lots and lots and lots of physical love (if you want it), especially from you to you. Be human, enjoy your Self.

– Linked to the Imaginary Garden with Real Toads ~ Tuesday Platform.

The blackout that fed the poem…

…and a flower that seems to be rather proud of her sexuality
(yep, the Thunbergia mysorensis is most definitely a girl)

51 thoughts on “Sexuality Is in the Head

  1. Oh my Goddess!!! Seriously? I get some people like to keep private, but that there are still those who are “unable” to discuss sex openly is really weird to me. My hubby doesn’t need a forum…he regularly destroys his younger male work colleagues with tales of our exploits lol
    Celebrating Beltane as a happily married couple should…smiling as we think about it 😀 XXX

    • When you belong to a forum about people’s intestines and bathroom habits, not a lot is kept private. So I was very surprised by some of the reactions.

      “…smiling as we think about it”. Ha!

  2. That flower is captivating!!! Whenever I hear about women not having ever pleasured themselves I am deeply shocked.. How is that possible I wonder? The self shame can ruin so many wonderful things!!
    Blessed Beltane!!

  3. You covered it all!! btw surprised you don’t have an image of Georgia O’Keefe’s work- she created some great images similar to your Thunbergia *wink, wink* 🙂

  4. This is gorgeously penned, Magaly 😀 I like the idea of one accepting themselves, their needs and desires, especially love; “Sexiness begins in your head—touch your mind deeply,love your body often.” Happy Beltane, gorgeous 🌹

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

  5. Bravo, you really covered it all! What a refreshing write on physical self-love. I love everything about it. And yes! I unashamedly err on the side of being bad too.😀
    Happy Beltane!

  6. If a person does not feel free to love themselves, can they be free enough to truly love another? There is so much about human sexuality which has been suppressed, and is thus little understood. I applaud you for raising the topic and even if some people could not contribute to the discussion I am sure you gave them something to think about.

  7. I am with Georgina. Hard to imagine anyone NEVER having done ‘that’! How, indeed, is it possible? Do they have dull nerve endings or something? I discovered masturbation in the cradle – I’m glad to say. Just one of the many sensual things that felt nice.

  8. I love this! Every single sensual passionate piece. If we cannot love ourselves and live a passionate life, how can we even imagine having a partnership without that piece? I live a passionate sensual loving life and hope someday to share that with a mate, and if that’s not in the cards, I will still live a passionate sensual loving life.

    I did not know of Beltane, no wonder my orchid finally bloomed yesterday. Another definitely female plant. Here’s to loving ourselves and spreading that love.
    Great post Magaly! So happy to see like-minded comments.

  9. Indeed Magaly; who but ourselves, can know how best to love ourselves

    “Hands I allow
    on me are a gift,
    a pleasure partnership.”

    Wishing you a lovely month of May

    much love

  10. Sexiness begins in your head—
    touch your mind deeply,
    love your body often.

    No quarrel with that! Thoughts playing in the mind that will make the difference. One takes care of oneself first!

    Hank

  11. At an early age, we’re told, it’s a sin to self-pleasure ourselves, by our parents and society, around us. Never mind, those of us, who have a body image problem, like being born, in the wrong body. And yet, there is something so liberating, in giving pleasure to oneself, that lift you, to another plane of existence. Love your introductory quote, by Ms. Jong.

    • I have such a severe dislike for the word sin (when it’s used to speak of natural things), that I can’t read it without glaring. And when things get as complex as the case you describe, well… my glaring becomes almost violent. The world is a diverse place, and when a few try to pretend that things are otherwise, they just end up hurting people.

  12. “Sexiness begins in your head—
    touch your mind deeply,
    love your body often.”

    Such grand advice! We should all take it!

  13. You’re my kinda woman! Yes, it is very much in the head. Get in touch with that. I remember hearing Leo Buscaglia say “Don’t make love to a body! Make love to a person!” True dat. Thanks.

  14. I love this… and how brave to express something that we all do… how else could we cope… I think the world would be a better place if it was more accepted.

  15. What’s that line by Rilke, stretch your opposites on the widest possible pole, for the god wants to know herself in you … So riposting about sexuality in a Crone’s forum offered some revealing revelations and extending Beltane succulations. What a sexual garden the poem in the brain. Amen and ahem.

  16. Bravo! If you cannot give yourself pleasure, you are missing out on good times! The flower is spectacular, reminds me of some Georgia O’Keefe prints I have.

  17. Here’s to loving ourselves!!!
    Great post my sexy Magaly! I have to say, talking with my mom (many of times), it is ok, for men to masturbate, but talk about women masturbating, that is horrible. I never understood why??
    Sexiness begins in your head—
    touch your mind deeply,
    love your body often.
    Amazing words! Big Hugs 🙂

    • Some beliefs seem to be attached to certain generations. It makes me feel very sad for some of the women who came before us, to know they are restricted by their own minds…

      Here’s to loving ourselves, indeed!

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