Someone I’ve known for a bit over fourteen years just became the director of the not for profit organization, where she has worked since we both left the military. She invited me to a party that will celebrate the accomplishment. I called her with my congratulations, told her how thrilled I was for her… and apologized because I won’t be able to make it; the trip would be too hard on my back.
A few days after the conversation took place, she emailed me. Her one thousand and sixteen word message started with, “I intend no offense, but…” Most of the text explained that she was “disappointed in both of us. We both should’ve fought harder for our friendship,” she said, and closed the email with, “I don’t want to hurt you, but friends tell each other the truth. If you let your being ill rule everything you do you’ll find yourself without friends.”
I’m sharing this because a very young Wicked Darling—wave at her, she’s probably reading this post—was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease not that long ago. Her symptoms are severe. Her dietary requirements make my eating restrictions seem like a joke. She is yet to figure out a way to eat out with her friends, which doesn’t cause her enough anxiety to murder her appetite. She can’t drink alcohol, and most of her friends socialize around a drink or three… so things tend to get tense when going to the bar or club comes into the equation.
“I don’t know what to do,” she said, tears wetting her words. “I will lose all my friends.”
“No, you won’t,” I told her. “Sure, you’ll lose some people; but real friends? Nah, you’ll never lose those.”
I can speak of this with some authority. I’ve lost many people in my nearly four decades of sexiness (and extreme modesty *cough*). Not because I’ve done something wrong; not because they were selfish bastards; but because certain relationships die when we can no longer nourish them in the way we used to.
And it’s quite all right to mourn these losses… for a short time. Then we must move on.
The world is full of acquaintanceships brought together by common interests. Friendships are rarer and much more complex; they are nurtured by a mutual understanding of life and living, shared by individuals who attend The Party of Each Other’s Lives for more than food or booze.
Would you care to share your thoughts on this matter, my Wicked Luvs?
“Embrace the Moment”, by Gina Morley
This is part of Gina’s description of her painting and creative process (and my reason for choosing it for this post): “Magaly likes ‘dark and sexy’… and dancing 😀 I used dictionary pages, containing words such as ‘dark’, ‘dancing’, ‘light’, ‘sincere’ you get the idea 😀 I used red and yellow (plus the blue of my hand[prints]) because Magaly is an intensely primal being, so primary colours… I believe she would also admit to being a very ‘fiery’ faerie 😀 so red and yellow also represent the flames of her passionate nature… then a layer of black glaze… cos she likes the darkside 😀 Looks a bit pink here, but it is red acrylic let down with glazing medium… and the grey area is iridescent paint that shimmers when you walk by… just like Magaly 😀 I was going to call it ‘Dancing in the Dark’, but felt ‘Embrace the Moment’ suited it better for now”. Visit Daydream Believer to read the complete post.