Igor Had Me in Stitches and Other not-so-Monstrous Bits

I’m never late to a party where the guests of honor are monsters. But my jaw and I found ourselves forced to spend unscheduled quality time with the fang doctor, and now I’m flying to May Monster Madness with Mistress Tardiness wailing horrors down my neck.

Right now, my jaw hates the whole world. And I don’t think there is a word that effectively describes what she feel towards scalpels, stitches, and the sound some people make when they are convinced that they can get milkshake out of an empty cup, if they just suck harder on their straw. I’m not sure why *cough*, but I think my jaw will stay irritated for a while. When I asked her if she would write this post for me, she said, “Certainly. I’ll use the fang physician’s blood as ink and make parchment out of his skin and—”

Um… I decided to write the post myself, since I didn’t think the visit was that horrible. I even laughed while I was being tortured. You see, my oral surgeon’s first name is Igor. So, of course, the moment a hand, equipped with needle and thread, approached my mouth, I lost it… and roared with laughter. He just kept on stitching. I was impressed by the steadiness of his hands. After he was done suturing, I tried explaining why I had laughed like a lunatic. But… the laughter came back, and I only said, “Igor! Stitches!” He finally got it, and yep, roared.

My jaw is still holding on to her rage, so my contribution to this year’s MMM is a short, simple sampler of not-so-monstrous bits with monsters in them:

The 1st offering is a Gary Larson cartoon that illustrates something I’ve always wondered about the more violent halves of monsters who are not monstrous all the time. How do they feel about their seemingly less threatening halves?

 

The 2nd was crafted in the middle of the night—the monstering hour—while I tried to convince my jaw that pain is the most terrible of gods, that he can not be defeated with more pain, so wishing for our head to explode wouldn’t help.

 

The 3rd and final offering was inspired by a tweet, whose vileness should not be repeated. The disgusting statement left me thinking that no beast will ever be as terrible or despicable as the human monster.  

 

Hm, I went from bright to ominous without meaning to. I guess I could blame it on my jaw, but I won’t. We must never disregard our human monsters… not today, when their corruption spreads to the highest hills.

Don’t forget to visit Annie Walls, the host of May Monster Madness 2018, to see what else is brewing…

 

A Stitched October’s Heart-Bits Giveaway

I took “Our Strange Creature”, some recycled coffee filters and paper, red and black thread, a needle, a pen, a handful of mirth, and stitched it into a 5-page book. I felt a blast of soothing yum as I wrote and ripped and eyeballed and stitched up my words. The result is rough—firsts often are. Still, if you win it, I hope you love it as I do.

The title is written on a coffee filter I never used. It was the runt of the pack, missing a chunk that kept it from being bathed by the brew. But… it gets to be art. So, all is good.

I was tired when I got to the last page. There was a wee bit of over-ripping, the thread twisted here and there… My exhaustion added character to the piece, methinks.

The pages are stitched together in the middle. The 3 strings are just fed through the center stitch. Tie them up to secure them… or remove them if you don’t want them.

I made a bookmark out of the blackout bit that partly inspired “Our Strange Creature”. But I’m not giving it away. I almost did. Then, my muse and greed and moi decided to keep it. But worry not, I’m replacing it with a stitched quote ready to frame. Once you win, fly over to my Instagram word-garden, look around, tell me which, and I’ll stitch.

Entering the giveaway is rather easy
– just leave a comment letting me know that you want the stitched poem and quote.

You’ll get extra entries, if…
– you are an October’s Heart-Bits with Magaly participant. Yes, you can still join in.
– you leave/left a comment on the original poem.
Three is a delicious number. So, a total of three possible entries feels just right.

If you are not a regular reader of my blog, if you don’t follow me on Facebook, haven’t liked my page, or we aren’t friends on Instagram, please make sure you add your email to the comment (I need to be able to contact you if you win).

This giveaway is open to anyone who can legally enter it. I will announce a winner on Tuesday, November 7th. Best of luck, my Wicked Luvs.

And the winner is… Dimitra. Congrats, dear lady!