Off to Say Adios to My Boob

As I was adding my PJ bottoms to my I’m-off-to-say-adios-to-my-right-boob bag, I thought I should write a short post to let you know that I’m still kicking and stuff…

The house is cleaned (my Piano Man rocks!), the post-op food is frozen (my stove and fridge and I rock!), the audiobooks and movies have been downloaded (Dark, The Babysitter, Little Evil, Misery… *may all that’s holy and suitably-humored protect any person who might have the pleasure of being my roomy*), the writing and blackout poetry materials are ready. I am ready.

I don’t plan to blog until I’m released from the hospital, properly de-boobed (and hopefully de-cancered). But I’ll probably stroll around Facebook and/or Instagram after the medical ninjas (with an absolutely acceptable boob fixation) finish the 1st battle towards re-sculpting my sexy bits back to health.

Send me some positive thoughts. Thoughts infused with wild laughter. Laughter that’s stronger because it was lived. Lived jokes (with inappropriate punchlines).

I will be
less of a bad thing,
but… more me

 

oh, yes… my PJs rock!

 

Creature Comforts

If you are visiting from Poets United, do know that this is not a haibun… it’s a mostly lived tale with a senryu for a tail. I could’ve birthed it as a haibun, but… the Muse wanted a tale… And who am I to deny a yummily wild creature (made of me and ink) her whims or musings, right?

 

And the tale with a poetic tail…

The tooth fairy wears pale green scrubs and glasses so thick that I have often wondered if he can see my brain through my open mouth.

“I have to take the two problem children from the lower back”, he tells me, poke-poke-poking between my gums and teeth with a dental explorer. “Any sharp pain?”

“Not really”, I say, “just a prickly discomfort that suggests a prick is poking my gums with something sharp and metallic.”

The tooth fairy’s assistant pales a bit—she is new. The tooth fairy knows me, so he grins, his magnified eyes making him look like a slightly mad divination teacher.

“We would leave them in, if you didn’t have serious things to deal with soon. You take excellent care of your teeth. But I worry about infection during days you might not be able to floss and brush properly. “But don’t worry, this won’t take—”

I don’t let him finish the sentence. “I need to get something out of my bag first.”

“Sure,” says the tooth fairy’s assistant, bringing me the bag.

I grab my red-eyed raven, give it a little squeeze.

“Great idea,” says the tooth fairy’s assistant. “It’s just a simple extraction, but stuffed animals can be really comforting if that makes you nervous.”

“Certainly,” I tell her, my eyes on hers as she preps me for the extractions. “I love my creature comforts. I can’t think of anything more comforting than visualizing a cute raven pecking on the eyes of my enemies as someone rips my teeth out.”

After that exchange, the only words out of the mouth of the tooth fairy’s assistant were “Suction” and “You are doing so well”. The tooth fairy, on the other hand, uttered many words. Most of them an effort to mask the urge to laugh, methinks.

 

ravens in black lace
conjure creepy-cute comfort
while brewing cackles
Raven by Groovy Gothic

 

the wee notes…
– So, that’s where things are right now. I’m two molars down and a boob to go. They do say that threesomes are lucky, don’t they? 😉
– To those of you following Trinkets and Armor, the prompt posts no longer have a fixed schedule. The next one will probably be posted on Monday or Tuesday.
– Linked to Poets United.