Of First Dates and Frankensteinish Crabapple-Rose Bouquets

My sexy Piano Man and I went on another first date… and my hair could barely control its excitement… Either that, or the wind was feeling artful. Seriously, three minutes into the ferry ride from Manhattan to Staten Island, my hair looked like it had just exploded.

I pretended to be very vexed, and the wind behaved itself for about five seconds…

…but I made the mistake of grinning too soon…

…and my hair ka-BOOM-ed again.

Our yearly date went as usual—we shared a ricotta pizza (mushrooms, olives, green peppers) at the place we had our 1st first date, and followed the cheesy yumminess with homemade ice cream. After that, we headed towards Silver Lake, the spot where my Piano Man and I proposed to each other and have partaken on many first gropes.

We walked by Mundy Avenue. This bit might not be as cool, if you’ve never read Fables.

My lover walked on a tree that fell over a creek a few stormy summers ago…

…sat on a huge rock…

…and I noticed a nail quartet that had been hammered into a pine. Poor tree.

About a mile from the tree, we met a huge turtle. Well, we met 2 huge turtles. But since turtle romance looks rather disturbing, I figured that it would not be a good idea to post pictures of the loving couple *cough*. Say hi to the female…  pre-disturbance.

Once we got over the shock of seeing huge turtles making wee turtles, we continued our walk towards Silver Lake…. where I climbed a crabapple tree. The ecstasy of getting up on that tree without feeling the excruciating pain I felt last year (when I wasn’t trying to climb anything) was glorious. The memory of it is making me grin like a lunatic.

At some point during our journey, my Piano Man rescued some roses that had been recently crippled. I grabbed a half-snapped branch from the crabapple tree and brought the beautifully freakish bouquet home.

When we stepped out of the train, a man who seemed to be drunk enough to set his own breath on fire, looked from my face to my Frankensteinish crabapple-rose creation (which my Piano Man was carrying), and said to me, “You are very lucky, both of you.”

I nodded my thanks, but said nothing (since my mouth was dying to ask him if he meant that my Piano Man and I were both lucky, or if he was seeing two of me… and I suspect the latter might not have been very polite). But I did smile at him, thinking, Yes, we are.

Then my Piano Man and I got home, and made each other luckier.

Love Yourself Tenderly

“…good deeds should come from our natural instinct toward brotherhood, not from tribalism!” (or forced guilt) ~ The Golem and the Jinni, by Helene Wecker

.
A week or so ago, a relative messaged me to say that another relative was ill… and that the whole thing was my fault for refusing to interact with said relative.

I was quite shocked. I mean, I know I’m freaking fantastic, but I had no idea that my mere presence came with healing superpowers. Still… I felt like I should not give the message all that much importance, since it also included pronouncement of hellish suffering and smiting from a rather wrathful god if I didn’t change my wicked ways.

I do love my ways.

Anyhoo, because nonsense spreads like wildfire (or the stench of shit in a tiny room), the first message was followed by a second and third… from individuals with whom, I assume, the first relative discussed my refusal to share my secret superpowers. Those messages weren’t unkind (there was no mention of my sexy flesh and bones burning for eternity), but they did make it a point to remind me that “loving others first is the duty of every good person. And I know deep inside that you are a good person.”

No, my Wicked Luvs, I didn’t laugh madly at the poor manipulation attempt. Neither did I pretend to misunderstand what the person was saying—passive aggressiveness and I have never cared for each other. I don’t seem to have the right sort of teeth for it. So, I just told her, “Loving me first is my first duty. Everything else is a gift. I’m not in the habit of giving anything valuable—especially myself—to anyone who believes their happiness and peace of mind are more important than mine.”

There were other messages (some not nearly as kind as the blackmail). I deleted them unanswered. I took a shower, went for a walk, returned home to blackout poems, took another shower, ate some yummy ice cream… and told the brilliant woman who lives in my mirror that regardless of what the rest of the world might think and do, she will always be first on my list. She grinned at me, with exactly the right sort of teeth.