Drowning the Life-Sucking Bastard (for a Moment)

Meeting new pain management physicians is always… a sort of interesting, unease-fueled experience. You just don’t know what kind of person you’re going to get. And when it comes to the doctor who is supposed to help you deal with the not-cool-at-all monster that eternally threatens to shatter your bones (and sanity), the personality attached to the medical wisdom matters.

I think I got lucky… again. The doctor I’ve seen for the last few years was excellent, so I was anxious about someone new. My apprehension was put at ease, when after discussing all the physical and administrative aspects of my treatment, the new doctor asked, “Why do you think that writing helps you manage pain?” I began to snarl—anyone who tries to get between me and writing will end up seeing the sharper side of my teeth—but the doctor raised a hand, smiled, and said, “Don’t kill me yet. I just want to know.”

My explanation was quite extensive, it went on and on and on and on… but it can be summarized like this: “I’m not mad enough, in that sense, to think that writing can rid me of pain. But it can certainly distract me enough not to spend my days screaming while agony steals my life away.” Also, words make the coolest of weapons, so it’s a win-win situation—my doctor agrees.

I know ink
can’t kill pain, but
heart-fed torrents of words will
drown the life-sucking bastard
for a sweet, sweet moment.

So… what’s your weapon of choice, when trying to drown what ails you?

23 thoughts on “Drowning the Life-Sucking Bastard (for a Moment)”

  1. Ink, and crayons, and markers, and scissors… though I think all of those are contributing to some physical pain, so I may have to rethink my weapons. At least I still have my loud, off-key voice 😉

    Have fun with your new torturer!

  2. I don’t know you well enough to be aware of what afflicts you and robs you of your physical and mental sanity, but suffering from chronic pain myself, I can appreciate the snarling sentiments and unease-malaise at walking a fine line in treatments and accepting new people in order to best help and work with you.

    Words …. when it becomes a means to an end – to banish the screaming banshees – to slay the dragons – to wreck revenge fantasy – even if for only a few moments – then it is, for lack of the best and ultimate drug-therapy components, a high in itself.

    May your pain be controlled in the best of ways that cause you less difficulties and problems and may you always be blessed with words a flowing …. in love, light, laughter, teasing dreams, nonsense, pithy snark, and shining heartfelt brilliance.

    Shine on Magaly🌠

    • Words are everything… I’ve probably said those words too many times, but repetition is not so bad when it’s true, methinks. 🙂

      May both our pains become something that lives on the back of our minds…

      …and may we shine over it.

  3. Great that the new doctor turned out good. It’s always a hassle changing doctors.

    As for weapon, writing and trekking in the wilderness help me deal with life challenges.

    Keep writing, you continue to inspire. ❤

  4. I lost my words (or perhaps, put them aside to investigate the depth of silence) two years ago. It took a long time to find my way back, but it was a necessary journey. I turned to fire when I was lost. Burning wood and herbs and little slips of paper with dreams and nightmares inked into them. Fire and stars were my salve for pain.

    I am SO glad to know that the folks watching out for you are quality people. You deserve the best on your team. xo

    • Whiles of silence are as necessary as words. It is in silence were words brew… until they are ready to be sipped and shared.

      Love your relationship with fire…

      I, too, am glad (and feel very lucky) to continue to work with good people who never forget that I’m a human being while their search for ways to make my body hurt less. Small giant miracles, right? 🙂

  5. So glad that your personnel change went well. I understand your apprehension. Your snarls are perfect for showing dominance. Your new doc is wise in that his eyes were open wide enough to realize the inky goddess sitting before him was not to be trifled with! Keep drowning pain! Watching it’s gasping bubbles pop on the surface of the water really is quite soothing!

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