Energy Gifts

I make trinkets out of my horrors.

Remember that railroad spike? No, love, not the one impaling society-spawn shame to rotting tongues I want nothing from—that one can’t be removed without reviving dead brains or touching hearts that lie… lie as elusive as the common-sense continuum. I’m talking about the rusty one, the one clad in bloody screams from trembling young lips (my trembling lips). Yes, love, the spike that tried to break my teeth, the one that scared me (once), I turned it into a bouquet of nightmares that sits charmingly outside time, guarded by sentinels crafted out of all your energy gifts.

I shall never run
out of shields, my wicked love,
not if I have you



the (not so) wee notes…
– some people have justifiable (even cool) phobias. Then, there is me: I have a mostly irrational fear of rust. So, when a friend (who has seen what rust can do to me) said, “What is a jar of giant rusty nails doing by your bed?” I told her the truth: “They are doing absolutely nothing. They probably want to, but they can’t. See that lovingly grinning skull? It was a gift from my boy. The stones, crystals, marbles? Gifts from different friends. All of them guardians. Rust can’t touch me.” The latest boost to my shield is a spoon made of horn bone. Yep, now one of my sentinels can also make sure that I never run out of spoons. Thank you so much, Kerry.

Linked to the Imaginary Garden with Real Toads.


39 thoughts on “Energy Gifts

  1. For mergency use you could also buy a box of five or six hundred plastic spoons which are sold with the plastic utensils. When the box gets to contain less than 100 simply buy another box.
    I like the idea of a rusty spike, the epitome of your rust phobia, being driven into the brains used as the focal them of your prose. I might try copycatting with my phobia. It would be hard for me to make that work, yours was a delightful read.

  2. Rust is quite a logical phobia in my mind for one who is taking iron tablets (me). However they are better than have the planet swamped with plastic which is much more likely than my brain going rusty (for the moment).

  3. Everyone needs a little African magic to protect them from harm.. may the spoon deliver only sweetness to the ephemeral tongue.

    It takes a boldness of spirit to face one’s fears head on, and keeping the corrosive article so close must certainly diminish its power.

    • It has delivered, and it will continue to do so… I know it. Thank you again, so much.

      I’ve learned that fears (like dictators) can only hurt us if we let them. So I choose not to. It’s not always possible to fight fist to fist, but we’ll always have the chance of baring our teeth and show the bastards that they can’t have us.

    • Some of the bits in that skull are glass, rocks friends found while on a week, seashells, sticks, even a few thorns they’ve collected during their travels… They make the best guardians, those pieces that remind us that we have others.

  4. Yes. Some of us have odd phobias. My only phobia is to die of dementia the way my mother did, slowly and agoningly. A very real fear against which no charms have any power. This was a delightful read. I hope your trinkets made from fears protect you and keep you safe.

    • Every fear is very real… for the person they affect. But thank goodness, there will always be charms to fight them. Unless one loses hope, if one loses hope… then, one is lost.

      About the trinkets, they aren’t made from fear exactly. But from what fear can become, if one doesn’t fight them in any way one can. Horrors will always be scary, but they can only scare us if we just sit there, waiting for them to tear us to bits. I’ve never been one for sitting to wait to be touched by anyone else’s nonsense.

      And yes, some phobias are extremely odd. I had a client who was terrified of eggshells. After some years, we used to have a blast smashing her fears to powder and spreading them around soil where they could do some good.

  5. Ah, I am glad to know about these sentinels keeping watch – I can understand fears and how gripping they can be.
    It’s indeed brave to face them in such a manner. I like the haibun – that senryu is so sweet.

    • Thank you, HA. I think that as writers rich in imagination, we can be the strongest warriors against certain sorts of fears–the ones we can’t touch (or strangle), for instance. My grandma used to say that bravery is often bullheadedness put to good use. I think she was right (about me), lol!

      I, too, think they senryu dancing in the sugary side. 😀

  6. Some people eco dye cloth with rust. It turns out quite pretty. Perhaps if you made an eco dyed scarf or something small and wore it close then Mother Nature could show you a way out if the fear/phobia. Meanwhile, sending much love and protective thoughts.💜

    • I absolutely LOVE that idea. And you know what, I have some white trousers that used to belong to my little brother–I kept some of his clothes after his body left our world–I think this idea would work perfectly with that fabric. Also, the fact that the clothes were his will give me some extra protection–he would never let anyone or anything harm his sisters.

      I shall do some research. Thanks so much, Judie.

  7. A brave thing to do dear Magaly – confront your fears & phobias head-on, with the aid of life-saving trinkets gifted by your trusty guardians.
    I had read of the spoons many years ago when battling with then undiagnosed medical complaint. I must admit I never tried – but maybe I should have.
    Anna :o]

    • I was sort of trying the spoon theory before I knew someone had named the practice. As I’m almost sure you probably found out during the time of your undiagnosed medical complaint, when every day or week finds you with just so much energy, you have to be very selective on how said energy is used.

    • Do you see the Snowflake Obsidian I got from you? I always think of it as my balance stone. If something is really bad, there will be some good to soothe the situation until it becomes manageable. 🙂

  8. Sounds like a perfectly reasonable phobia(if there could be such a thing) to me– after all, ‘better to burn out than it is to rust, because,’ as Neil Young said, ‘Rust never sleeps.” As always, you warrior it out and find your protections, something I respect tremendously about you. Thanks also for the introduction to spoon theory. I am by no means a sufferer from anything but minor ills and aging, but as I approach my seventh decade, I find rationing my spoons very necessary–thinking of you, dear Magaly, and hoping all is well.

    PS I have an irrational fear of factories, quarries, oil wells, etc particularly old abandoned ones. They terrify me.

    • I think the spoon theory can be used for anything in life. Sometimes, I apply it to my consumption of desserts. Since I can’t eat too much of it, I save my wee spoon of yumminess for days when I really need a pick me up. And as someone who is living with most of the extras that come with aging (ahead of time)–arthritis, digestion issues, teeth riots and so on–I have to say that spoon theory worlds purrrfect for it. If we are selective about the things we do, when we do them we enjoy them more.

      Oil wells can be terribly scary places.

  9. How cool is it that you can turn a phobia into a piece writing like this. A magical and surreal piece that serves as the fear and the fight. You never cease to amaze, been awhile but I can see you are still hard at it. Loved this!!

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