I Lick Treats that Nourish My Ink

When you try to shroud my spirit with the same skin that shapes your flesh and keeps your bones from breaking, you Frankenstein lies about me and truths about you. My blood tells tales tasting of terror, but my heart’s tongue does not linger around fuel that gives naught. I lick treats that nourish my ink… feed on energy that grows and delights around wild harmonies that move me.

you can’t feel
me through your living,
you aren’t me

 

the wee notes…
– someone told me, “I’m happy your chemo side effects aren’t as bad as mine.” So, I figured that writing a poem inspired by the feelings the ridiculous comment evoked would be more beneficial to my sanity than shouting: “Oh, really? The skin around my eyes hurts. My tongue is swollen. The heels of my feet are killing me. My joints are about to explode. Most of what I eat tastes like regurgitated MREs. I will not let chemotherapy keep me from exercising because no exercise means bone-splitting stiffness, you stupid twit!” Yep, I’m sure the poem was the better choice *cough*.
– linked to Poets United.

 

some days I’m a bit wicked, other days… well, I feel a lot

59 thoughts on “I Lick Treats that Nourish My Ink”

  1. Some people never learn! So sorry that those remarks were made. So happy that you wrote the perfect response! You rock in every which way!

  2. I was only discussing with someone earlier about certain people online who go on and on and on about their ailments with a really passive aggressive tone that suggests no one suffers like they do, or has as hard a life as they do, or as many problems as they do… they’re completely oblivious to the fact that others may be (probably are) in pain too, or having their own quieter struggles. It’s so obnoxious and narcissistic! I’m so sorry you have to deal with that kind of ignorance while you’re trying to cope with your own issues right now, lovely one! xo

  3. A wise, and much more enjoyable option… at least for us readers. I’m guessing that a good tongue lashing (or perhaps a black eye) might have been more satisfying (wink wink). Love to you Magaly, and much respect ❤

  4. Well, that is the way to deal with life’s vexers. Being a product of those nasty nice-girls-don’t-let-on 50’s, I’m afraid, I have a – equally nasty – habit of ‘holding it in’ … until my doofus encounter erupts in a full blown vent. Loved your awesome ‘take that, twit’ response. And Rommy’s comment was THE BOMB!!!

  5. Well, I guess her rudeness or should I say insensitively was the catalysts for this wonderful vent.

    you can’t feel
    me through your living,
    you aren’t me

    These are true words…wishing you peace and healing Magaly…

  6. The poem is a great choice! I love it like mad for many reasons – and using ”Frankenstein’ as a verb is a particular delight. (And I suppose you do know the comment was not only stupid but nasty? Not glad at all! Superiority of suffering implied: ‘I hurt so much more than you, and this makes me a better person’. Yeah, crazy as well.) Meanwhile, it’s illuminating/horrifying to know the details of the effects of chemo. I always understood it was unpleasant, but I had no idea…. I think it is good to gain understanding.

    • I totally got the “nasty” of it. Stupidity and ignorance rarely bothers me as much as straight up nastiness, when it comes to this sort of thing. Stupidity you can kick a little and try to exorcise, ignorance you can teach, but meanness… that thing festers and spreads. And no one needs that.

  7. I am also reminded of a thing a psychiatrist said to me many years ago, when I expressed the opinion that I ‘shouldn’t’ feel so bad about my situation when so many people had worse things going on. He thought a minute, then said, ‘But suffering is subjective.’ In other words, no-one’s can validly be compared with anyone else’s, and you yourself are the only one who can evaluate your own.

    • A friend I really like emailed me when I first got very sick, in 2013 or so. She told me that she had stopped interacting with me so much because she knows that she has the tendency of speaking about what she termed “silly body aches”, and I always comforted her. So the idea of her doing that when I was so sick embarrassed her and made her feel rotten. “Your situation is truly serious, and I know mine is not.” I was gentle, but corrected her. No one’s pain is less, regardless of severity. That psychiatrist is very wise. And I completely agree with what he said.

  8. I think it is great you are telling us what is happening to you. It is a gift to us. I love your photo. You look good both ways. Your treat, ink for your words is your piano man. You are blessed. Pane of glass response is a term we use in my family. When confronted with insensitivity or offence we put up a pane of glass….cannot hear, cannot touch us. I hope you will be recovered soon…blossom… with your colourful petals strewn all over the place.

  9. Oh! It’s ridiculous when people compare pain and hurt — there can never be a valid comparison because it is felt and dealt with in its own cocoon, circumstance, and person.
    There is a wonderful spirit of keeping on in your words — both as a rejoinder to the insensitive comment as well as a personal reflection. Loved this line: “I lick treats that nourish my ink… feed on energy that grows and delights around wild harmonies that move me.”
    Wishing you more power and strength, Magaly! <3 🙂

  10. The assumption that people who do not show their discomfort do not feel discomfort leads to a society where those who whine the loudest are cherished the most.

  11. After almost a year following my wife’s diagnosis of Multiple Myeloma (cancer of the white blood cells) in 1998 after being in and out of hospital undergoing every conceivable treatment and procedure she was allowed to come home, get a wig and continue treatment as an out patient. Through the summer all food had to be cooked (no salads which she liked) and me injecting drugs in her tummy, she finally finally said she would take over in the kitchen from then on. She was a fighter beyond measure as I am sure you are too Magaly.

  12. So true that someone else cannot feel another through their living. I am glad you did not just leave the insensitive comment go. Your response in poetry was perfect!!

    Glad to see you writing!

    • I always joke about how much I value my narcissism and lack of modesty. But I think some people take things so far that they forget that they are not alone in the world. When we are so full of ourselves that we forget that other people also matter, we are lost… and that’s a terrible place to be (while staying human).

    • Because some people are a little nuts… and a lot silly. One has to be very silly, indeed, to fail to see that we gain a lot more when we stop fighting to get it all… and just share the yum.

  13. Sigh.. people can be so insensitive sometimes! The fact that someone can compare pain is beyond ridiculous because:

    a) it’s rude
    and
    b) it’s way out of line!

    If you can’t make a person feel better then atleast don’t pass comments and judgments 😳

    I love this poem and your spirit! Keep smiling that bright smile of yours! ❤️

  14. You can never know how somebody else is feeling… pain don’t have a scale… the only thing you can do is hoping that you feel as well as you look… (which you don’t apparently)… keep the ink flowing.

    • And you’ve put your finger on most of the issue. I’ve been thinking about your comment since I first read it a few days ago… about the difference between “not feeling well and looking great” and “not feeling well (health-wise) and still feeling and looking great”. I’m a lucky woman… because I can’t remember a time when I have not been in the last group. I can smile from ear-to-ear and feel good even when my body is on fire (and not in a good way). I didn’t always know how uncommon that was… But now that I do, I want to explore it… find out if others have experience the same… learn about how it helps them…

      Like I said, I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, hence the all the rambling. 😀

  15. I just wanted to note Magaly – what a surprise to see you popping in at my space – so thank you. I can’t imagine how tired or exhausted you might be feeling, so what a great welcome treat to read your kind and generous comment.

    And now, well – hell – you *KEEP* dancing and finding ink – and listening to and creating the harmonies that make you sing – especially when you feel most like screaming or crying or puking or whatever. Take your comfort and strength where you can –

    Pain is subjective – and no two people will ever respond/react to it, or anything in life, in the same way. And how can anyone expect to quantify it? Absurd notion this. So it’s rather bland to receive comments that “play the comparison game.” Your pain and suffering is neither less than anyone else’s – it is what it is, and just because you choose not to broadcast about it – or play the “pity” me game doesn’t make you wrong – it’s your choice in how you keep on choosing to try to cope, deal, manage and defeat it all. So rally as you must – and just a thought, maybe the other person wasn’t/isn’t as fortunate in having reams of support and love to help see them through – but that doesn’t mean you need to be on the receiving end of their bitterness. So keep on taking the lemons and sweet stirring the pitcher with honey – and btw – semi-bald, head shaved is beautiful – for the strength in knowing your heart and spirit. Fight and dance on. 💕

    • I always visit your cyber-home when I can. In truth, your blog is part of a small list I tend to lurk around first. Your writing has the power of pulling one in, of requiring the sort of attention that can distract the brain from more immediate things (like… acute pain). So, in other words, your poetry is a very good thing to dance with in moments of need (and to delight in the rest of the time). 🙂

      And on the rest, well… indeed.

  16. Wow! Amazing and rather sad that that person had to make it about herself. She obviously was fishing for sympathy. Reminds me of the old days on Blogger how attention seekers would troll for sympathy.
    Your poem hit the nail on the head! When things like this happen your words are your best defense

    • I think that individuals like this don’t know that when we truly make it all about ourselves, so much so that we forget to look outside… everything becomes more unbearable, especially the pain. I wonder if that’s the reason they feel like they hurt more than anyone else… because they don’t take the time to understand that other people also matter.

    • I don’t think anyone can. We can empathize, do our best to understand someone’s explanation of what it feels like to be (and feel like) them, but… in the end, we are outside looking in… and that can never give us a true perspective. But yes, we can always try and try hard. It’s what makes us human (in a good way). 🙂

  17. Hard to believe how many insensitive people are out there..but woah..there are boatloads of em…I met quite a few idiots along some of my tough journeys, Hugs! Brilliant words, beautiful poem..perfectly said.
    Loving that artsy-soulful-symbolic photo of you..beautiful visual art!

  18. I don’t even have a word, to describe these types of people!!!
    You keep shining Magaly!! Your soul never stops glowing, through all you are going through and have been through!
    We LOVE you so much!
    I Love the photo of you!
    Big Hugs 🙂

    • People can be very strange creatures, in rather surprising (and sometimes unpleasant) ways. But we’ll never let them shadow our bright, will we?

      Love you right back. 😉

      And speaking of shine, one of my new doctors saw your bag and fell in love… I suspect she’s going to get herself one.

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