Igor Had Me in Stitches and Other not-so-Monstrous Bits

I’m never late to a party where the guests of honor are monsters. But my jaw and I found ourselves forced to spend unscheduled quality time with the fang doctor, and now I’m flying to May Monster Madness with Mistress Tardiness wailing horrors down my neck.

Right now, my jaw hates the whole world. And I don’t think there is a word that effectively describes what she feel towards scalpels, stitches, and the sound some people make when they are convinced that they can get milkshake out of an empty cup, if they just suck harder on their straw. I’m not sure why *cough*, but I think my jaw will stay irritated for a while. When I asked her if she would write this post for me, she said, “Certainly. I’ll use the fang physician’s blood as ink and make parchment out of his skin and—”

Um… I decided to write the post myself, since I didn’t think the visit was that horrible. I even laughed while I was being tortured. You see, my oral surgeon’s first name is Igor. So, of course, the moment a hand, equipped with needle and thread, approached my mouth, I lost it… and roared with laughter. He just kept on stitching. I was impressed by the steadiness of his hands. After he was done suturing, I tried explaining why I had laughed like a lunatic. But… the laughter came back, and I only said, “Igor! Stitches!” He finally got it, and yep, roared.

My jaw is still holding on to her rage, so my contribution to this year’s MMM is a short, simple sampler of not-so-monstrous bits with monsters in them:

The 1st offering is a Gary Larson cartoon that illustrates something I’ve always wondered about the more violent halves of monsters who are not monstrous all the time. How do they feel about their seemingly less threatening halves?

 

The 2nd was crafted in the middle of the night—the monstering hour—while I tried to convince my jaw that pain is the most terrible of gods, that he can not be defeated with more pain, so wishing for our head to explode wouldn’t help.

 

The 3rd and final offering was inspired by a tweet, whose vileness should not be repeated. The disgusting statement left me thinking that no beast will ever be as terrible or despicable as the human monster.  

 

Hm, I went from bright to ominous without meaning to. I guess I could blame it on my jaw, but I won’t. We must never disregard our human monsters… not today, when their corruption spreads to the highest hills.

Don’t forget to visit Annie Walls, the host of May Monster Madness 2018, to see what else is brewing…

 

33 thoughts on “Igor Had Me in Stitches and Other not-so-Monstrous Bits”

  1. Yikes! You definitely win for the scariest contribution to May Monster Madness! I’m so sorry for your pain, m’lovely! I’m glad that Igor had a sense of humour though! Feel better soon! Sending intercontinental healing hugs your way! ❤ ❤ ❤

    I love Gary Larson’s cartoons, and not only have I never seen that one, but it’s fang-tastic!!!

    I adore all your blackouts, but you know I’ve got a super soft and squelchy spot for your monster themed ones! 😉

  2. I love that you cracked your doctor up….and am impressed you faced the needle and thread with humour. Yoiks. May it heal swiftly. I especially resonate with your closing lines. I am flabbergasted at what is going on in North America these days.

    • I’m lucky to have doctors who don’t think I’m mad because I still can laugh. I have a super-serious doctor (or three), they are a freaking nightmare–I’m the one hurting, but they act as if their world is ending. Makes a soul want to kick them in the face, but… the soul doesn’t want to go to jail, so it sticks to mental kicking. 😀

      And yes, things around here are… flabbergasting every thinking brain *sigh*.

  3. Did Igor give you a “sedagive???” bwahahahaha……..*shameless giggling* and I love how you slip so easily into the darkness 😀 XXX

  4. We do live with monsters, and they do try to get the better of us…I am laughing at you cracking up your dentist in the middle of a daunting procedure with your ever-resilient sense of humor–sometimes it’s all we have as a defense. AFA tweets, yesterday’s fiasco with Ms Barr and her unmitigated vileness at least shows that karma is alive and well…for the Orangester, considering the scope and duration of his obnoxiousness, when it finally hits, it will surely be amazing.

    • I really tried not to laugh, but it was just too ridiculously perfect. My doctor just said, “I’m so glad you can still laugh right now.” And I thought, Me too. I also hoped that I could laugh later, while I ate nothing but soup.

      On the latest bit of tweet madness, I really hope Lady Karma continues to work quickly. We need that. We really do…

  5. It’s kind of awesome you have a doctor who is cool enough to encourage laughter. The Far Side piece was new to me too. I giggled heartily. I liked the middle piece. And damn, that last piece. The truly sad thing is it could apply to so many stupid things tweeted these days.

  6. Did somebody say chicken soup? Now that’s good for the sweet goof troop. LOL! Loved your post miss Magaly. I hope you’re keeping well loves. Sending wicked monster hugs and kisses your way! *evil grin* ♥♥♥

  7. Garry Larsen is as persfect, his talent, insights and humour, and as far from that little tweeting ‘comedic’ troll in all those ways as possible, one injecting animals with sweet humanity and the other… a disgraceful example of lowest levels a ‘human’ sinks to… a ugly monster

  8. Hope you heal or heel soon. This post really made me laugh aloud. I could never tolerate a doctor with no sense of humor. Sometimes it is the only thing that gets you through the day. Love the cartoons!

Leave a Comment