Let’s Make Trinkets Out of Horrors and Armor Out of Bliss

The sunrise is going to find me on my way to see… one more specialist—a scary one. When I next write you (or maybe a bit later *we know how these things go*), my life will be unchanged or complicated enough to force me to make all sorts of wild readjustments. Regardless of what happens in the next 13 hours, I will continue working on the creation of a place where we can be human together. This sounds a bit strange out of context, doesn’t it? Well… the following bit, which I shared on Facebook, might clarify things:

I’ve been talking to friends—from the blogosphere, from the hospital, some belong to both circles (because they’re dealing with chronic ailments or are suffering from being human… in a time when having a humane heart means hurting a lot).

Common themes seem to rule these conversations: “I feel lonely, Magaly” and “I feel guilty for whining about my pain, when children haven’t seen their parents in weeks” and “I feel wretched for worrying about my child getting into a better school when many children have no food or can even dream about a proper education” and “I must be a monster for caring about my weight when people risk imprisonment (and worse) to get their bodies into countries where they are not wanted”…

I believe anything that keeps us from feeling healthy of mind and body is a big problem that affects all. I believe that worrying about (what some might consider) the small things, while also keeping in mind the big things, is one of the characteristics that makes us human. I have never believed that wanting to be our best selves (in flesh and spirit) is something that we need to be forgiven for. These days, I find myself wanting to use words (my superpower) to spread that belief to anyone who wants it or needs it.

I’m not sure how to go about it, but I’m working on it…

…and when the time comes, when I find a way to create a space where we can explore (and battle) small and big horrors, I hope you join in. Because I believe that once we can look at our minds and bodies and delight in what we see, then there is nothing we can’t face… and, perhaps, even conquer.

While I’m gone, while I wait… I shall plan and plot and shape a space for us, a spot where we can share and celebrate everything we are—the good, the great, the terrible… a cyber-circle where we can take small giant steps towards a Self we can kiss on the mouth while thinking, You’re awesome.

If you wish, you can join the planning and plotting and shaping, too. Just share 1 or 3 or 13 things you’ve always wanted to work on, to discuss, to make better, to dream real… in the company of likeminded people.

I’m considering all sorts of topics: working towards better eating habits, exploring different ways to get ourselves out of bed on days when the task seems to exist between no way and impossible, finishing projects we’ve been working on for ages and ages and ages, finding our waists…

I can’t say that every suggestion will become part of the event exactly as presented, but I promise to do my best to incorporate all (and let’s face it, my best is freaking fantastic… only surpassed by my unbeatable modesty).

Go ahead, my Wicked Luvs. Tell me about those rough stones you want to polish (or wish to learn to love exactly as they are). Let’s find ways to make trinkets out of horrors and armor out of bliss. Together, we can… and will.

 

Carnival of Bones, by Shelle Kennedy
When life rips your heart out of your chest,
make something useful (even fun) out of it.

40 thoughts on “Let’s Make Trinkets Out of Horrors and Armor Out of Bliss”

    • I don’t often ask this question–in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever asked this question on this platform–but since this post is all about interaction, and the possibility of growing better things, I feel I should ask: how so?

    • I think most of us are with you in that selection. Eating and staying fit is rarely easy.

      I should’ve probably said “eating well”, since eating is sooo easy… which makes the staying fit a challenge, lol!

  1. See finding my waist is easy…it’s hiding between my humongous hips and ballistic boobs ;D…but I would like to get into better shape. And don’t you go “waist”ing your precious energy on us while you should be focusing on yourself!!!! We will all be loitering in the shadows waiting for your return*I likes loitering* XXX

    • Now, I’m imagining your boobs as overactive fighters, lol! Maybe getting the rest of you in shape will be too dangerous for the rest of us. Those boobs might try to take over the world.

      You know I always take care of myself. Sometimes, taking care of myself involves staying busy focusing on other people’s problems. Since focusing just on my own woes might leave me screaming.

      *I likes loitering, too… CWS*

  2. I think of a meme using Smegol/ Gollum from LotR when I think about calisthenics. I must do them, precious, but I HATES it. I get somewhat more enthused if I can involve music in some manner, but I’d like a group where we can encourage each other’s self improvement. Here’s hoping for a good outcome with Dr. Scary.

    • A very wise lady once said, “The most pleasurable parts of exercise are planning and being done.” All right, so it was me who said it. But it’s still true. At least for me… and you… and Sméagol/Gollem. LOL!

      Things went all right, with Dr. Scary–I will totally call her that, next time I see her. 😀 Now, we are playing the waiting game…

  3. You hit the nail on the head with that mighty hammer of yours. Everything you described for the circle should be brought to flame to burn bright and encourage the sisterhood (and men too) everybody’s contribution will spark as they know they are in a safe and wild place. Sending you my love and I’m ready for the revolution to begin.

  4. My lovely friend, I will hold you in my thoughts until I hear about the “scary” day.
    I would love to be “found” again. I want to share, listen, read, hold up, play and be a part of “real” goodness again. I would love to be accountable, humbled, respected, supportive and refined by the fire that is friendship with many others.
    I look forward with anticipation to this new endeavor, cuz baby, I’m all in on this one. xoxo Oma Linda

    • We’ll know the outcome of scary in a week or three (keep your fingers and toes crossed).

      That middle paragraph of yours made me grin happily. Me too… to all of that. 🙂

      I did a lot of plotting yesterday (there was a lot of waiting, lol). So, I suspect we’ll have something concrete by next week.

  5. Wishing you the most favorable outcome!!!! As for my rough bits and darker ego, I would love to beat that inner hurtful, negative voice that is always second guessing, a d judging me, while triggering anxiety and depression! Ugh! That voice is my worst enemy.

    • Thank you for the wishes!

      I think you’ve pointed out one of the most dangerous feelings, the most draining one…

      Society, nurturer of so many negative emotions towards the self, has a lot to answer for. I have no idea if that terrible voice can ever be completely quieted, but I’m sure that it can be fought with answers and stern talking tos. A “Stop second guessing me!” here and a “I’m doing this because it makes me feel good” there, and perhaps, we’ll get somewhere. Perhaps, we’ll tackle the small annoyances before they grow into the anxiety and depression monsters.

  6. Magaly, you are a wonder. Your title drew me like moth to flame. I wish you the best possible outcome at the hospital, and applaud you for continuing to provide a supportive forum that uplifts us all. I am in the midst of the personal crisis of one of my kids, while remaining mindful of the very much bigger traumas going on everywhere on a global scale. This is our lives, right now. I am drawing within in order to withstand it with some measure of the peace and stability I require. One hour at a time, one day at a time. Sufficient unto the day is the crisis thereof. I will watch this forum with interest.

    • How I love these words: “This is our lives, right now.” If we say that to ourselves all the time, and acknowledge just how important these words are, the things we’d be able to accomplish… We can’t change what already was, or fully affect what will be if we don’t take charge of what currently is. You wise wild woman, you!

      I hope the personal crisis finds a resolution soon, my sweet Sherry.

  7. I have many things that I could put on this list, but I think the one that is most on my mind right now would be finding a way to overcome the dark that my chronic pain demons slide over my eyes so often. I’m hoping you have a good visit with the scary specialist. I have a visit to my scary specialist next week that I’m hoping to make better with a side trip to a really nice art store in the area.
    love & blessings
    ~*~

    • Pain is the most terrible of horrors. Its voice is loud, deafening and blinding… For me, the only thing that works is substitution. When pain screams, I let my mind focus on something even louder (but soothing): writing, tending my plants, my lover… a trip to a delicious bookshop after the hospital. 😀

      I hope your visit goes as well as it can be expected, and that the side trip is even yummier than you thought it was going to be.

  8. Scary Days. The prospect haunts and makes us wonder why, and how many more we must endure. May this one of yours be but a memory, now.

    My body is such a MF. Not satisfied with many years of allowing physical pain to make a threat of every step, every movement, it now offers new enticement. It offers freedom from my bodily woes, all I have to do is do nothing. Just wait a while longer until the inevitable eventuality of it leaves me paralyzed, feeling nothing at all. Or, I can continue to combat this evil bastard with hospitals, scalpels, and invasions of my parts. All the while unsure of the outcome, yet unwilling to go down without at least one more fight.

    Some of my Scary Days leave me weary of the battle, allowing me to consider that paralysis would perhaps be preferrable to pain. Of late, another champion of the enemy brings a pall of depression, and I ponder options that would remove the need to face either option. I reach out for allies because I fear this new demon. With all my heart, I want it as an enemy, and not a lover.

    My mind also wants to wrestle with analyses of the reasons, the purposes for all this. As a believer in karma and spiritual contracts, I wonder what horrors I might have inflicted upon others to deserve my sufferings, what possible lessons are to be learned and shared from all of it?

    I look forward to a new place where dealing with our private hells might bring shared healing to our souls, and let us decorate each other’s armor with beautiful trinkets.

    Blessings on you Magaly.

    • Some demons thrive in loneliness. I think you are brilliant (and super brave) to reach out. Admitting we need help is as difficult as asking for it. Perhaps, even more difficult. But once we take the first step, the next aren’t as terrible…

      The second to last paragraph describes something I’ve always found dangerous. I, too, believe that what goes around comes around. But… I also believe in Chaos–that glorious bastard. Sometimes, we get sick just because the chaotic forces of the universe threw something into the world and we caught it. We aren’t paying for anything. We are just being and the being got super taught. We must believe this. Or, at least, we must try to make true enough until we can’t believe it. If we don’t, our soul my start to believe that the flesh needs the punishment. And if we believe that, getting better, fighting back… can be so difficult.

      I love the idea of decorating each other’s armors. I want blood-red suns on mine. I shall clad yours in moons. 🙂

    • I think it time for me to own this post. I don’t share my authentic, deep feelings often, or well. I prefer to deal with my pains and fears in private, showing the world only the pretty things that result when I fight the pain and demons head-on.

      I will be absent for several weeks as I face another surgery, next week. Please send me an occasional ray of light <3 🙂

      Lorelei

      • Sunshine, cyber-hugs, extra-loving-juju, soothing cackles, even gentle jokes… all of them will be coming your way. You can do this. Because you must. Because you (and I) wouldn’t have it any other way. ❤ x13

      • Oh Lorelei *fierce hugs* I never knew. I am so sorry you are going through such a scary time. I’m not always the best at admitting when some stuff gets to me too. Absolutely I will send sparkles and sunshine.

        You are a strong and brave lady. I am proud to know you.

  9. I hope your visit to the hospital was reassuring instead of scary. I know whatever happens you will handle it with all of your usual finesse and tenacity. Like others, I feel bad complaining or being depressed when there is so much worse happening to other humans. I grew up thinking that self care was minimally necessary and totally selfish.i think women and girls are especially susceptible to this notion. But, like the oxygen mask warning, we need to take care of ourselves or have nothing left over to help support anyone else. This struggle is constant.

    • The doctors were awesome, and we’ll have to feel good with that for now. My sexy body has been struggling lately, but… it’s fighting. We’ll see what the next few weeks bring. Fingers crossed, right?

      I was just saying to Laura and Reba, above, that one of the worse things society has done to people is imply (even preach) that loving the self is some sort of trespass. What a horrible lesson. It’s almost an invitation to always feel less, and to feel wretches if you don’t feel less than the next person. I’ve never understood the need for such nastiness.

      Let’s figure out ways in which we (all of us) can feel that if we aren’t pleasing ourselves first, taking care of us first, we’ll “have nothing left over to help support anyone else.”

  10. Shelle’s painting and caption filled my soul today. My heart was ripped out when I lost Ms. Wee. Perhaps that seems trite to some, but she was MY world, and she mattered to ME. So I am trying to make something useful and even (fun??) out of it. I am writing her/our story. I have been writing frantically about her and everything she did or said or ate or wiggled or screamed since her tragic death on Valentines Day (of all days!) hoping I do not forget, because memories do fade. I have had too many tragedies and I am tired of them. Working this one out. Maybe will get some pointers here, No….I know I WILL get some pointers here. Magaly, I hope and pray you find help for your hurts. Hope and pray. Sending more gentle hugs. xoxo

    • Only a heartless person would ever think that you hurting for Ms. Wee is something trivial. You shared a life for decades. She was family.

      You know, I wrote those words (the caption) after I was told that things will probably get more challenging for me again. I was smiling. And the doctor gave me a funny look. She was so angry–she has been one of my doctors for a while, so she got upset at the fact that I will have one more thing to deal with. So my smile confused her. I told her that I would use this new thing to start something good. I didn’t know what yet, but something that help me and others people, too…

      …because losing Ms. Wee isn’t small. Losing a chunk of one’s body isn’t small. Fighting as hard as one can to lose ten pounds but seeing no change isn’t small. Feeling sad for no obvious reason isn’t small. Those are all big things because they matter to us. And if we don’t take care of them–if we don’t remember just how big they are–we lost ourselves and everything else.

      Besides, if you ever dared to forget Ms. Wee, she’d probably haunt you. And no one wants to be haunted by that sharp (if stunningly beautiful) beak.

  11. Very much running behind with my visit… I’ve had a cousin staying with me, so I’ve been extra crazy-busy! I’ve got a brain-splitting headache right now (Which had better freakin’ ease up soon because I’ve got tickets to ‘Ant Man and The Wasp’ in a few hours! *le sigh*) so I’m not going to come up with anything clever to add, but I love the ideas you have already put forth, and I’m always supremely confident that this universal truth will stand us in good stead:

    “(and let’s face it, my best is freaking fantastic… only surpassed by my unbeatable modesty).”

    😉 😀 ❤ ❤ ❤

    Essentially, I’m in! And when my head stops throbbing, I’ll be even in-er!! xo

    • I hope you got to see Ant Man and The Wasp. I’ve yet to have the pleasure, but I would never forgive a headache that keeps me from such fun.

      And I can’t stop giggling about your being “even in-er”. 😀

  12. I hope everything went well at the scary specialist’s appointment!
    This is why I cut my hair all off. When I walk around you can see my scalp. That is how fine my hair is. Took me alot to do it, but this is me and I am proud of me. It’s like death to your “old” story. I’m interested in what happens! Big Hugs 🙂

    • The appointment went all right. Must wait for the results. Fingers crossed.

      I always say that trying to hold on to what life has already taken away is a dangerous task. It’s best (if not always easier) to move on, and make the best of what we have and of what we can get.

  13. Hugs my friend, shining warm thoughts of love and comfort.. and all that your soul needs…thinking of you!! always here if you need a friend..

    powerful post…looking forward to seeing/hearing more.

  14. Find joy… I think with that I can lose anxiety, 24/7 feelings of oppressive guilt, shift overwhelming dark clouds, just find joy, find that maybe… and that stuff Oma said, and others here… yes xox

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