My Eyeballs Are Secured in Their Femaleness

My eyes are not the best listeners. I told them that we weren’t getting old—just deliciously experienced—but they still insisted on needing reading glasses. Since I’m not one to fight her own eyeballs, I went ahead and let them have the glasses… Besides, we can totally pull off the sexy-librarian-with-wild-hair look (our modesty is deliciously nonexistent *cough, cough*).

So… after an appointment with my ophthalmologist, I went to see the optician to get fitted for frames. The moment I saw the first frames, I knew I wanted them. I tried them on. They felt perfect. It was love at first magnification.

The optician began to chuckle and whisper with one of her colleagues. To me, she said, “Oh no, sweetie, those are made for men.”

“I know.” I had read the sign just above the frames’ display. “I still want them.”

“They are very masculine. They won’t look right. Try this.” She offered me a golden monstrosity with minuscule lenses.

“No, thanks very much, just fit me for the black frames,” I said, without touching the frames she thought were right for me.

While she wrote out my specific measurements, she started talking to her colleague, in Spanish, about my choice.

I stayed quiet, pretending I didn’t understand. I had been in the hospital almost all day, and didn’t feel like arguing. But when she told the other woman something about how it wasn’t going to be her fault that I was going to “walk around looking like a she-man idiot,” I lost it.

“Listen to me,” I said to her, in Spanish, “My face is mine and I wear what I please. If your ovaries and brain are so diminished that they keep you from doing your job in a professional manner, then move aside so that someone without ridiculous gender issues can take my order. While you are at it, tell your supervisor that I would like to speak to him or her.”

I must’ve been shouting because everyone in the (rather large) waiting room was very quiet. And I turned around to find the optician’s supervisor standing behind me. If I hadn’t been so mad, I would’ve probably laughed at the ludicrousness of the entire situation. But worry not, my Wicked Luvs, I got to laugh later… all by myself… while walking to the bus station… thinking, Hot damn! I should’ve told her that my eyeballs are secured in their femaleness.

Magaly Guerrero - Reading Glasses

47 thoughts on “My Eyeballs Are Secured in Their Femaleness”

  1. As long as they are doing their job, who cares what gender your glasses are? (Kind of sad that my brain is too big, making in turn my head too big for the cute glittery kids’ glasses.)

  2. LOL, I could see and hear the picture in my mind with perfect clarity. LOL…dang, I’ve had people not know I was bilingual, but never like that. Madame, I applaud you!

  3. HUZZAH! And RIGHT ON!! I’m just at a loss over her behavior. And I am so glad she quickly learned the error of her ways, with your direction, of course. <3 👏 👏

  4. Brava for calling her on gender issues and the rudeness of talking behind your back! Hope she learned her lesson! They look great! I buy my reader’s at the Dollar Tree, so there is never much choice. I have found the ones that I like the least are the ones I never lose! Hahahaha

    • I always have to get my glasses measure (since I have a no nose bridge situation going on, lol). It’s one of the reasons why bigger glasses, or glasses with a wider space given to the nose region work for me.

      I haven’t lost my reading glasses yet, since I only read in bed and they live there. But now that you mention it, I should probably get a second pair, just in case…

  5. My favourite pair of reading glasses look just like yours! You look gorgeous in them! Sometimes your adventures in the city sound like they should be episodes of ‘Seinfeld’. At least running into an occasional asshat gives you good writing material. 😉 ♥

  6. Girl!, U look great in those frames… and THOSE are for men? hmmm… I guess the optician hadn’t heard of the words : unisex??? lol… u keep speaking your mind.. I am surprised others didn’t chime in.. I know I would have! 🙂

  7. Well done 🙂 I had a similar run-in with a hairdresser a couple of years ago, who didn’t want to cut my hair short around my ears, because it wasn’t ‘feminine’. Like anyone is going to mistake me for a guy 😀

    My eyes don’t want to listen either, so now I have a pair for reading the tiny stuff. I was born far-sighted, so it’s not going to get better 😀

  8. You and your eyeballs are just too awesome for words (english or spanish lol) I would totally have pulled her up at her first utterances. What makes frames ale or female?????? Yours look super sexy…but then how could they not on you 😀 xXX

    • Bilingual awesomeness, lol!

      And that’s my question, too. How does she or anyone knows the gender of a frame? Did she ask them? And even if they did have gender, why couldn’t I wear a male frame? People are just too silly…

      *me, rocking my frames* *CWS* 😀 ♥

  9. Whereas male sexism often makes me feel downright homicidal, female sexism just makes me so…disappointed. How are we ever gonna shed the yoke if we keep pushing our sisters down?

    And as a Swede I say: You’d still be gorgeous wearing a burlap sack.

    • Just like racism coming from a member of a discriminated group, this kind of behavior enrages me. What can we expect of those who haven’t been there, if the one who live there act in the same ways or worse. Makes no sense.

      *dances in her burlap sack*

  10. Sounds like *someone* was a leetle insecure about her own gender identity. I hate patronizing sales people–obviously she never heard that old saying ‘The customer is always right. That “I know what is socially acceptable and you don’t ‘ thing is pretty offensive here. That picture of you is stunning, and the glasses don’t seem in the slightest way masculine(or feminine) to me, simply streamlined and functional and with a pleasing utilitarian simplicity. People! I tell ya.

  11. oh, for cryin’ out loud. what is the matter with people. obviously you loved the ‘men’s’ frames so why did she care? some people just aren’t happy unless they are putting someone else down.

  12. Wow, that was so unprofessional for the optician to speak about a client like that. And let’s not even get started with gender discrimination. Good on you for standing your ground. You look handsome and scholarly…No wait! Is that a masculine description?

  13. You rock girl! I should learn some new languages, so I could tell some people off! I use to speak French and Italian, but I lost them, because I had no one to talk to!
    Getting back to you, I am glad you gave that idiot shit! I really love your frames and I have to say, I am looking at getting my frames changed and I would love yours! You look damn sexy and cute! Big Hugs!

    • Some people are just weird, and not in the super-fun and interesting way that you and are deliciously weird. Maybe they can’t look in the mirror and see a happy face, so they try to turn every other face they see unhappy. Or maybe they are just silly.

      We shall continue to rock this world. 🙂

  14. I love your outburst! I hope a few people in the waiting room spoke Spanish too and understood it! What an ignorant woman with her awful gender stereotypes! Probably Transphobic, too, given her comments! I hope her boss told her off! I wish I could have seen her face when she realised you spoke Spanish!

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