Of the Love We Get and Give…

I was reaching for my favorite mug when a combination of nerve pains shot through my right arm and made me lose control of my hand for an instant. I dropped my favorite mug. My favorite mug landed in the sink… So, it didn’t completely shatter. I was left with two large pieces and some bits of ceramic.

“Neuropathy is a sneaky bastard”, I said to my Piano Man, who had run to the kitchen to investigate the commotion.

“You know it’s the chemo”, he said, reaching for me, stroking my shoulders as we both watched my arm twitch. When I tried picking up the pieces, my Piano Man touched my hand. “You don’t want to nick your skin. I will take care of this.” I handed the trash bag I had been holding. “We’re not throwing it out”, he said, and the outrage in his voice made me smile. “You can turn it into a planter.” I loved him more in that moment for those perfect words. I love him for so many reasons. I love, love, love him because he gets me.

This morning, I found my favorite scarred mug next to my coffee maker. My Piano Man wholed all the pieces before leaving for work. With a face full of grins and a heart bursting with love for a man who loves and knows me well, I filled the cracks with sparkles… and turned the new planter into the home of a wee succulent that I rescued (or plant-napped *cough*) last summer.

 

Earlier today, a friend told me how terrible she feels whenever she needs my help these days… We both know how little time and energy cancer treatment allows me. I reminded her that there have been days when I would’ve stayed in bed if she hadn’t needed me. She helps me free myself from traps made of pillows and sheets and rather costly comfort. Helping her helps my brain and heart remember that a friend needs me. There is wild healing magic in circles made of love we get and give (and of friends who whole each other better).

This belief is what always inspires me to give all I can and celebrate all I get. And speaking of gifts and wonders, I have a handful to be extra thankful for:

I’m grateful for the gift of my Piano Man
and my new favorite planter

I’m grateful for GJ (short for Gina Jr.)
a dolly crafted with love and yarn (mostly with wild love, I am sure)

I’m grateful for Gina, for winged thoughts,
and for stories inked with me in mind

I’m grateful for Rommy
and for creepy Gorey books that make me grin like a lunatic

I’m grateful for Susie
and for red and black skully ornaments that cheer me to no end

I’m so grateful for all of you, who keep on feeding my ink with your reading presence… even when I can’t be as reciprocal as I’ve been in the past. You, my Wicked Luvs, rocketh very mucho and heal me even mostest. Thank you.

 

Love and Lust and More…

“Love gives you something extra… It makes you limitless…” ~ Adam Scythe

 

I need no one (other than me)
to love me, to want me,
to make me feel
desired, but…
that look, that wild look
in your eyes, that deep dance
between love and lust and more…
oh Love! that wanting look is need
I never knew I could relish in
needing from anyone… but me.

 

the wee notes…
– the other day, my Piano Man and I were in bed. I was being my healthily naughty sexual self, when he smiled one of those smiles that makes human beings hold their breath until undies begin to drop and… well, you know the smiles I mean. Anyway, he smiled at me, and said, “You are an incredible woman. This hasn’t changed you at all.” One of his hands was on my mastectomy scar when he said that. I doubt I’ll ever be able to explain exactly what those words, that smile, that touch… did to me, what that moment meant to me. So, I chose to poetize it instead… hoping your own heart (and lungs?) can feel some of it. Oh, and… um… the fact that my Piano Man and I broke the bed shortly after that is totally unrelated. Really! Stop laughing! All right, you don’t have to stop, I start roaring every time I think about it. Bwahahaha!

– Linked to Poets United.

 

Vortex of Passion, by Leonid Afremov