When Terrible Found Me, I Smiled… with Teeth

Dark humor “strengthens your immune system, relieves pain, eases depression” and makes all those ridiculously annoying people, who seem to walk around with a giant stick up their rears, rather uncomfortable… a detail I find freaking hilarious. ~ from The Healing Power of Humor [and moi]

 

If we are friends on Instagram, then you have already glimpsed this. But since I promised I would write a bit more about it, here it goes again, with an extra detail (or 3): I am slightly fascinated by how the chemo cocktail affects the body, and by how quickly the effects make themselves known.

Examples:
– The anti-nausea meds that accompany the bulk of the healing poison grip one’s nether regions (for about a second). The feeling is not exactly painful (not even all that unpleasant *cough*), but it is always surprising, regardless of how many times the quirky meds have previously clenched one’s behind without asking for consent or offering a refreshing beverage.

– Then… comes the high. Mostly from the anti-allergy stuff (lots of anti-stuff during chemo[ning]). Many people (perhaps, even most) get sleepy. Me? No, I get giggly, which makes me laugh at the slightest provocation, and quite often without being provoked at all. And since my nurses are a wonderful riot (and I insist on watching all the funny videos friends post on social media while I am getting my chemo infusions), well… the result is a lot of cackling. I enjoy every minute of it, even the weird looks I get.

– There is wild twitchiness and pains, which aren’t as bad as they sound. Really. Some muscle spasming—around my left eye, in the left side of my back… These are not the torturous neuropathic events (which are nasty). I’m referring to spasms that feel almost like tickles. They go away after I stretch. But… can you imagine the number of funny faces you must make to stretch your twitchy facial beauty? Many. And when you do it in front of the mirror, the doing can get quite hysterical, particularly if you are still riding the chemo high… And yes, by “you” I almost always mean “me”.

Soon, I’ll share a bit about the sexy side effects. Let’s just say that phrases like “Port! Port!” might’ve become safe words. See? Never a dull moment, especially with a sexy Piano Man who dances with me no matter the tune.

 

post-chemo scowling
selfies are quite diverting
when my eyelids hurt

 

When terrible found me,
I smiled… with Teeth.

 

See? with Teeth.

 

What about you, my Wicked Luvs, how do you deal with terrible, when it comes knocking, knocking, knocking… on your door?

 

Seize the Ink

And the days are not full enough
And the nights are not full enough
And life slips by like a field mouse
Not shaking the grass.
~ Ezra Pound

 

Ink won’t wait
forever
to be shaped.

Thoughts must be
seized and quill(ed)
when they want,

if feels are
to become
poetry.

 

the wee notes…
– after sharing Ezra Pound’s poem… Kim, over at the Imaginary Garden with Real Toads, invited us to write a piece about “just doing it”. So, I just did it. In the shape of a Tricube: 3 stanzas of 3 lines, each line 3 syllables.
– linked to Poets United.