Weary Bones Afire: Week 3 of Doing It Alone Is Quite Yummy, But…

I can no longer taste my coffee. It came as a shock. Not because I wasn’t expecting it. But because I thought that it would continue to be a gradual affair. Chemo isn’t gentle on the taste buds, everybody knows that. But… in case it was a fluke, I went ahead and brewed a fresh pot. No joy—the second cup of coffee also tasted as if someone had washed their feet in it.

I distracted my caffeine headache by imagining just how fantastic my first cup of the post-chemo magic stuff will taste in my mouth. In fact, I’ve been planning my post-chemo meals. Steak is always at the top of the list, which is a bit strange, since I’m not all that crazy about meat. Who knows, maybe the cavewoman within is craving iron.

Anyway, I was sharing the details of my taste buds’ betrayal with a friend, when she said, “I understand why you’re hating your life right now.”

“What do you mean?” I said, wondering if she was hearing voices or if my tongue had been flash-possessed by the tiniest of life-hating ventriloquists.

After that, I spent probably way too much time rambling about the visuals involved in tongue possession and discussing how sad (not to mention useless) it would be to dwell so much in what we have lost that we forget to delight in what we still have. At some point, I might’ve been accused of being infuriatingly positive. But you know what? I don’t believe that’s true. I am just stubbornly rational. And, perhaps, as contrary as they come.

I enjoy a good fight (even a not so good fight): the chemo beast takes away my coffee? I binge on blood orange leaf tea until coffee tastes good again. I could shriek and kick and flip the bird skyward, but… why waste energy growling into the abyss? Like my Knight Writer so wisely said, “It’s better to light a flamethrower than to curse the darkness.” So, flame the freak on!

Also, you can often find good in the bad, if you look hard enough (yes, by “you” I mean “me” *I’m a great looker*). Examples:

1. A few days ago, my digestive system wasn’t doing its job. After trying all I could think of, I made a macaroon cookie recipe my Mother in Law sent me (after she read it helped someone with issues similar to mine). The cookies helped and were delicious, too.

2. Bone pain is a huge bastard between chemo infusions. The pain can get so nasty that standing up, sleeping, typing (serious nail pain) can become a problem. I soothed the pain by plotting poetry in my head. I’ve added five new poems to the collection I’m working on. I’ve also rewritten more than one third of AlmaMia Cienfuegos (more on that soon, soon, soon…).

3. I have always admired the life-giving beauty found in scars and decay, but never as deeply as right now. So, when I saw that my amaryllis (which looked dead not so long ago) is sprouting a new bloom, I took the sight as a sign: out of weary bones, my wild fire springs anew.

 

Doing It Alone Is Quite Yummy, But… (week 3)

Doing it together is super easy. Just write a post about something that matters to you in a good way (arting, living, tightrope walking). If your muse is not in the mood for coming up with a new topic, just dance with my theme: share your thoughts on taking a recent not-so-wonderful situation and twisting it around until it gave you something good.


Let Your Divine Radiance Shine
, by Magic Love Crow

 

34 thoughts on “Weary Bones Afire: Week 3 of Doing It Alone Is Quite Yummy, But…”

  1. The friend who said u were hating your life bc u weren’t able to taste must think u live to eat. To me that is truly sad that folks think that to be able to taste is tragic. I could think of worse. Personally I eat to live. Knowing u, I know u will find substitutes that agree w/ your predicament. U love a good challenge and to outsmart something is the best feeling!😉

  2. Hate life? Hell no! I’m thinking you definitely need to pop over to see my contribution this week. I know I’m late and I apologize, but Friends Matter is the topic of today.

    Your friend could have maybe said you hate the havoc the chemo is creating in your life, but never would I think that you would hate your life no matter how much crap is dumped on you.

    Keep on throwing flame.

  3. I can’t believe that anyone that knows you would say anything about you hating your life. I see you casting plot lines out into the glare of antiseptic spaces to see what word fish take the bait. Capturing facial expressions and overheard dialogue with your mind traps, sorting the great catch from the lightly amusing, justly knowing that they will show up in a slumgullion of poetic delight. You are a huntress and your prey takes you into dangerous and uncomfortable places. You ROCK!

  4. The meringues sound delish, and I will try them. Assuming one doesnt ned to whip the egg whites, just add them? You rock, Magaly. Yes, that first post-chemo coffee will taste wonderful. I am rather stumped creatively these days. My heart is a bit weary of the onslaught of bad news that gets worse and worse. I wrote of the two small children who died at the border. I dont want to bring people down, but they are on my mind. The women’s march January 19th gives me hope. May women march everywhere. May grandmother and Wise Woman wisdom rise, speak truth to power. May the patriarchy fall.

    https://stardreamingwithsherrybluesky.blogspot.com/2018/12/small-child.html

    • I did not whip the egg whites, just mixed it in. They came out yummy.

      I felt your poem deeply, seeing her picture, reading your wishes for her soul… a friend and I talked about your words for some time *sigh*. I so hope for a world where everyone understands that all life is precious, and that money is just crap we can use to buy stuff.

  5. I share the same deep affinity and admiration as you…”life-giving beauty found in scars and decay”

    Your posts/words always enrich, enliven…spark beautiful hurricanes and fires in my heart!

    and I absolutely love Stacy’s gorgeous art alongside your magic!

    hugs beautiful one
    Victoria

    • The universe made us and we found our way to each other! Words that birth “beautiful hurricanes and fires”. How I love that. And I’m right with you on Stacy’s art. It’s just… fantastic!

  6. I cannot imagine you hating life. You find beauty wherever you go, and in whatever you are experiencing at any given moment. You seek joy out, always finding ways to brighten your day. I love that about you. I’m sorry about your temporarily-dirty-sock-flavored coffee… but it is only temporary. I’m even more sorry to hear that your magickal, artful fingers are painful. (Healing Wishes!) Flame on mighty hammer wielding warrior! Flame on! ♡

  7. Weary bones afire, I like this title; it’s reviving. And I love your stubborn rational. Because your positive energy permeates. It not only ignites weary bones but touches heart, mind and soul. Even though I always try to keep a spirit of gratitude in my daily life, I fall short. Your words (and the not so good fight right now with the chemo beast) are powerful because they remind and encourage me to quit whining, and face my fears that wage a war against me and my dreams.

    “…sprouting a new bloom, I took the sight as a sign: out of weary bones, my wild fire springs anew.” May your fire keep roaring to warm you in these cold winter days! And the sprouts will sure bloom in spring.💙

  8. ‘…. why waste energy growling into the abyss?’ You’re my kinda lady…you just get on with it. We look forward to the day your taste buds re-awaken to coffee. In a strange way, your body wants protein but not coffee…hmmm it must be trying to tell you something. Hope you had a great Christmas … and here’s to a wonderful new year!

    • I’m right with you on the body speaking its want bit. I don’t eat much meat, and usually that doesn’t really matter. But with all the healing I have to do these days, a lot of protein is a must.

      I hope your Holidays have been glorious!

  9. Hate life? Never! ❤️ The one who said that probably wasn’t listening or doesn’t understand you very well. They should know you are optimistic and lively even on days that are dull and grey! 😊

    Keep being the wonderful person you are Magaly. You are an inspiration to us all especially to me 😘😘😘

  10. The fact that you can (almost) displace the intense bone pain by writing poems is a testament to your terrific spirit. Instead of wilting to small and quiet in this difficult period of your life, you choose to bring us another beautiful written bloom, rather like the amaryllis. Here’s to the day you raise your cup or your mug or your other vessel of choice and enjoy everything, including the flavour of coffee, again. Each day is another day closer to that joyous event.

  11. Hate life? You? no way no how. Tracking how things are affected by this temporary disturbance in the force? Yes because you above all the other folks I know delve into life no matter what the circumstances. That’s real bravery. Looking at the object of your “less than affection” makes it not only more tolerable, but also you know the color of the enemies eyes. An informed and armed flame thrower….now that I know for sure.
    As for me and a story….well I’ve been hibernating and in a good way. Too much bitching in the world for me. Stayin’ close to home so that I can enjoy my days. This season always brings out the bad in the crazies, so Oma Linda arts and plots and cleanses the icky out of my life by being good to me and Sweet Man. We have enjoyed a very relaxing and stressless holiday season. Little or no drama. Just old farts enjoying each others company in a cozy, warm environ.
    Blessings to you and Piano man. This next year will be a year for all of us to “take stock of our personal behaviors”. Thanks for helping all of us do so prior, so that we are ready for our new and improved selves in 2019.
    Love you so very much. xoxo Oma Linda

    • One of these days, when things are less insane, we need to have a You are a Rock Star! party. Just so that we can remind each other about all those good things we keep under our skins (and in our 1000watts smiles). 😀

  12. I love you dear friend. You are positive, and you know what its the only way to get through anything at all. Its not ‘sickly sweet’ Its warrior type behaviour, because only the strongest people can fight the fight.

    Hugs June x

  13. Followed your link to Terry Prachett. I did not remember him but I think I read the Carpet People long time ago. Either that or there was another book about living in a carpet. I remember reading about a lot of color there, something psychedelic. But…I was delving into Stephen King then and left everyone else alone for a long time. You… just keep on clacking those bones (not too hard though) and when you sleep dream about Juan Valdez coming your way with saddlebags full of….what else…….pure Columbian! Uh, coffee, that is! xoxoxo

    • The Carpet People is one of Pratchett’s oldest series for children. The Discworld is the adult series, with a YA spinoff series. If you enjoy intelligent humor dancing with layers and layers of philosophical yum, then you might enjoy my Knight Writer. He is one of my 3 favorite writers in the whole wide word, so… I might be biased, lol!

      *moans at the thought of tasting coffee*

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